Tomcat
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Salute, for those who like to break someone else's account, today we will talk with you on the topic of a look is power, and this is so if you hone your technique.
You probably noticed that you do not like a debt direct look, you probably noticed when if you look at the cattle confidently directly in the eyes, it embarrasses him and his confidence is lost, and he looks away, which means that you are now dominating !
Let's analyze with the bow of the gaze in more detail,
The first is aggression and challenge, for example, two males measuring their mutual strength, their mutual rank. And, secondly, sexual attraction: male and female, when the gaze performed a preliminary and selection function for sexual games. In humans, these meanings, aggression and attraction, have also been preserved, but in connection with the finer organization of the mental world, many more shades and semitones have been added.
For an attentive person, the eyes of his interlocutor can tell a lot. If the interlocutor hides his gaze, this also betrays his insecurity in front of people and fear of the situation, since this is actually a variant of leaving, escaping from the attention of other people. By hiding your gaze, you, unwittingly, inform others that you are uncomfortable looking into people's eyes. And this will again be interpreted as your weakness and insecurity. A look, even if it is in the eyes, but fussy and running will create the impression that you cannot calmly withstand the eyes of another for a long time and also spoils the opinion of you.
1. Business triangle: for people with whom you are in business relations (and social roles), points - an eye, another eye, a nose (or lips), and again an eye, an eye, a nose, etc.
2. Friendship (or secular) triangle: for people with whom you are on friendly terms or friends. Here you already allow (since a friend, after all) a wider gaze coverage area - eyes, eyes, a button on the chest.
3. Intimate triangle - for people with whom you are in an intimate relationship or pretend to be personal. This will already turn out to be a slightly frivolous triangle: an eye, another eye, genital area - and again an eye.
Exercise codenamed "Subway Gaze"
Or in any other transport or place - the main thing is that with a stranger.
You've probably noticed that people sitting opposite each other on the subway often secretly look at each other? At the same time, if their gazes accidentally collide, then the eyes, as a rule, instantly "jump" to the side: they are suddenly "interested" in advertising on the walls of the carriage or something else very "important", such as the laces of the shoes of the person opposite. This is understandable: in our country it is not very customary to look at a person, especially a stranger, for nothing, and, of course, meeting with the eyes causes mutual awkwardness.
By the way: in Europe, people can meet with open, interested views much more freely and start a fleeting conversation or even a long acquaintance. And they don't feel any awkwardness. This is a sign of greater inner freedom and self-respect than ours. The reason is that Western culture and upbringing are built on the value of respect for the person's personality, unlike ours.
So, the essence of the exercise: "Look in the subway." Make it a rule, when you meet your eyes in a subway car, not to jump immediately to the side, but calmly accept the look of another person, and even look for such an opportunity. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to look with a challenge, you can look benevolently and with interest. Blinking during eye contact is not prohibited - this is a physiological reaction, but smiling, that is, actually trying to earn a good mark of it, is not worth it. Exercise is not about that.
I must say right away that in reality it will not be easy to find a person who is ready to be in eye contact for more than one second. But a second will be enough - even if not you, but he is the first to look away. If you're lucky, and you meet a person who is ready for longer eye contact - great, you're in luck - check and train your gaze, psychological confidence and stability. When your partner has already averted his eyes, you can count yourself a "plus" and let him go to rest.
If you continue to train, it is possible that he will feel more discomfort, worry and even leave the car at the first opportunity. Therefore, allow him to get home anyway. Allow yourself and yourself sometime to lose if your partner is stronger than you in gaze. You also need to be able to play with dignity - calmly and without guilt or your own weakness. It's just a game - like life - and you don't have to win all the time.
If you feel like you can't stand the gaze, remember not to look directly in the eye. It is enough to select any point on the face (eyebrow, lips, nose, forehead, ear) - at this distance (we have already said), the accuracy of the gaze is hidden.
This exercise is done until it becomes completely easy and relaxed for you to look strangers in the eyes, and you even learn how to enjoy it.
There is also a secret of how to withstand any, even the most difficult gaze. Use the "cage" technique. How does it stand for? We already know that we are embarrassed and embarrassed because we are too preoccupied with ourselves, because of the increased attention at this moment to our person, that we are "knocked out" by the assessment of another person. And then - it is necessary to reform your attention so as not to allow others to evaluate us within yourself.
Imagine that you come to the zoo, and suddenly you find yourself in a cage - and people (or, God forbid, monkeys) walk along your cage and examine you, eat ice cream, laugh, read the signs, point the finger. After all, you have to justify their expectations, like it, show them something interesting, run, jump, curl, they paid the money for the entrance. What if I can't do this, suddenly I don't like it, and they will stop feeding me for that ... An uncomfortable situation, isn't it? But why do you in life often feel yourself in front of others as in a cage? It is better to mentally place them in this cage! And then you will already observe their life, habits and methods of reproduction, and not them.
And your attention will no longer be directed to how you are being evaluated (and then automatically you will feel psychological discomfort and stiffness), but to evaluating these mon ..., excuse me, people yourself. And then you will feel much more free and comfortable. In other words, you shift the focus of attention away from yourself - to the person you are considering. And you watch him, think about him:
- Here's an interesting face ...
- And what color is his eyes ...?
- Where is he going ...?
- And what does he work for?
- Probably, life is not easy for him ...?
- I wonder who he works for ...?
- And what does he have in his personal life ...?
- Wow, he is embarrassed for some reason ...?
As a result, if you honestly think about him all this time, try to feel what he feels, tune in to this person, your attention is 100% occupied with business. And then it is not preoccupied with the thought that something is wrong with you. I can't say that managing your attention is very simple. But this is real, even without much training. And with training, you can achieve very good results in controlling your attention and, therefore, yourself and your behavior.
This technique - "Cage" or, in fact, a shift in the focus of attention, can be used in any other situations when it is important for you to make a decent and confident impression in public, in the boss's office, when meeting and communicating with new people.
There is another effective modification of this technique that allows you to extremely intrigue any woman / man. Looking directly into the eyes of the subject must be reminded of something sexually arousing. It is advisable to mentally substitute the object of desire for your momentary counterpart, put it in your picture, and fantasize a little about sex with him. Then the power of erotic attraction will inevitably appear in your gaze.
Those who know this technique claim that no object has yet resisted this secret weapon. At the very least, this generates a reciprocal interest. How to use it further is up to you.
If this technique is too frivolous for you, there is a completely simple method. Placing your partner in a "cage" and looking at his face, mentally try on:
- Where to kiss ...? Maybe in the cheek ... No, in the neck ... However, in the lips ...
If you do all this honestly, your gaze will acquire an erotic flavor and will surely "hook" another person.
You probably noticed that you do not like a debt direct look, you probably noticed when if you look at the cattle confidently directly in the eyes, it embarrasses him and his confidence is lost, and he looks away, which means that you are now dominating !
Let's analyze with the bow of the gaze in more detail,
The first is aggression and challenge, for example, two males measuring their mutual strength, their mutual rank. And, secondly, sexual attraction: male and female, when the gaze performed a preliminary and selection function for sexual games. In humans, these meanings, aggression and attraction, have also been preserved, but in connection with the finer organization of the mental world, many more shades and semitones have been added.
For an attentive person, the eyes of his interlocutor can tell a lot. If the interlocutor hides his gaze, this also betrays his insecurity in front of people and fear of the situation, since this is actually a variant of leaving, escaping from the attention of other people. By hiding your gaze, you, unwittingly, inform others that you are uncomfortable looking into people's eyes. And this will again be interpreted as your weakness and insecurity. A look, even if it is in the eyes, but fussy and running will create the impression that you cannot calmly withstand the eyes of another for a long time and also spoils the opinion of you.
1. Business triangle: for people with whom you are in business relations (and social roles), points - an eye, another eye, a nose (or lips), and again an eye, an eye, a nose, etc.
2. Friendship (or secular) triangle: for people with whom you are on friendly terms or friends. Here you already allow (since a friend, after all) a wider gaze coverage area - eyes, eyes, a button on the chest.
3. Intimate triangle - for people with whom you are in an intimate relationship or pretend to be personal. This will already turn out to be a slightly frivolous triangle: an eye, another eye, genital area - and again an eye.
Exercise codenamed "Subway Gaze"
Or in any other transport or place - the main thing is that with a stranger.
You've probably noticed that people sitting opposite each other on the subway often secretly look at each other? At the same time, if their gazes accidentally collide, then the eyes, as a rule, instantly "jump" to the side: they are suddenly "interested" in advertising on the walls of the carriage or something else very "important", such as the laces of the shoes of the person opposite. This is understandable: in our country it is not very customary to look at a person, especially a stranger, for nothing, and, of course, meeting with the eyes causes mutual awkwardness.
By the way: in Europe, people can meet with open, interested views much more freely and start a fleeting conversation or even a long acquaintance. And they don't feel any awkwardness. This is a sign of greater inner freedom and self-respect than ours. The reason is that Western culture and upbringing are built on the value of respect for the person's personality, unlike ours.
So, the essence of the exercise: "Look in the subway." Make it a rule, when you meet your eyes in a subway car, not to jump immediately to the side, but calmly accept the look of another person, and even look for such an opportunity. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to look with a challenge, you can look benevolently and with interest. Blinking during eye contact is not prohibited - this is a physiological reaction, but smiling, that is, actually trying to earn a good mark of it, is not worth it. Exercise is not about that.
I must say right away that in reality it will not be easy to find a person who is ready to be in eye contact for more than one second. But a second will be enough - even if not you, but he is the first to look away. If you're lucky, and you meet a person who is ready for longer eye contact - great, you're in luck - check and train your gaze, psychological confidence and stability. When your partner has already averted his eyes, you can count yourself a "plus" and let him go to rest.
If you continue to train, it is possible that he will feel more discomfort, worry and even leave the car at the first opportunity. Therefore, allow him to get home anyway. Allow yourself and yourself sometime to lose if your partner is stronger than you in gaze. You also need to be able to play with dignity - calmly and without guilt or your own weakness. It's just a game - like life - and you don't have to win all the time.
If you feel like you can't stand the gaze, remember not to look directly in the eye. It is enough to select any point on the face (eyebrow, lips, nose, forehead, ear) - at this distance (we have already said), the accuracy of the gaze is hidden.
This exercise is done until it becomes completely easy and relaxed for you to look strangers in the eyes, and you even learn how to enjoy it.
There is also a secret of how to withstand any, even the most difficult gaze. Use the "cage" technique. How does it stand for? We already know that we are embarrassed and embarrassed because we are too preoccupied with ourselves, because of the increased attention at this moment to our person, that we are "knocked out" by the assessment of another person. And then - it is necessary to reform your attention so as not to allow others to evaluate us within yourself.
Imagine that you come to the zoo, and suddenly you find yourself in a cage - and people (or, God forbid, monkeys) walk along your cage and examine you, eat ice cream, laugh, read the signs, point the finger. After all, you have to justify their expectations, like it, show them something interesting, run, jump, curl, they paid the money for the entrance. What if I can't do this, suddenly I don't like it, and they will stop feeding me for that ... An uncomfortable situation, isn't it? But why do you in life often feel yourself in front of others as in a cage? It is better to mentally place them in this cage! And then you will already observe their life, habits and methods of reproduction, and not them.
And your attention will no longer be directed to how you are being evaluated (and then automatically you will feel psychological discomfort and stiffness), but to evaluating these mon ..., excuse me, people yourself. And then you will feel much more free and comfortable. In other words, you shift the focus of attention away from yourself - to the person you are considering. And you watch him, think about him:
- Here's an interesting face ...
- And what color is his eyes ...?
- Where is he going ...?
- And what does he work for?
- Probably, life is not easy for him ...?
- I wonder who he works for ...?
- And what does he have in his personal life ...?
- Wow, he is embarrassed for some reason ...?
As a result, if you honestly think about him all this time, try to feel what he feels, tune in to this person, your attention is 100% occupied with business. And then it is not preoccupied with the thought that something is wrong with you. I can't say that managing your attention is very simple. But this is real, even without much training. And with training, you can achieve very good results in controlling your attention and, therefore, yourself and your behavior.
This technique - "Cage" or, in fact, a shift in the focus of attention, can be used in any other situations when it is important for you to make a decent and confident impression in public, in the boss's office, when meeting and communicating with new people.
With just one glance, you can attract and firmly "hook" a person! If you, looking at a person, honestly imagine that this is your beloved person, look as if there is a beloved / beloved in front of you - then something will appear in your gaze that will make your partner (partner) become interested in you and even feel an inexplicable desire to get closer. In another way, this technique can be called "If I loved you ...".
There is another effective modification of this technique that allows you to extremely intrigue any woman / man. Looking directly into the eyes of the subject must be reminded of something sexually arousing. It is advisable to mentally substitute the object of desire for your momentary counterpart, put it in your picture, and fantasize a little about sex with him. Then the power of erotic attraction will inevitably appear in your gaze.
Those who know this technique claim that no object has yet resisted this secret weapon. At the very least, this generates a reciprocal interest. How to use it further is up to you.
If this technique is too frivolous for you, there is a completely simple method. Placing your partner in a "cage" and looking at his face, mentally try on:
- Where to kiss ...? Maybe in the cheek ... No, in the neck ... However, in the lips ...
If you do all this honestly, your gaze will acquire an erotic flavor and will surely "hook" another person.
