Duplication technique. How does one learn to understand others?

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Many of us would like to better understand what those with whom we communicate think and feel. This ability, which psychologists call empathy, can be developed on your own.

"I can't imagine why he did that" ... "I don't understand your feelings!" Many of us, even if we didn't say these words out loud, felt something similar. Sometimes we really lack the ability to read the thoughts and feelings of other people. Some are lucky - and they are gifted with empathy almost from birth. And what about the rest? Are they doomed to remain ignorant? Not at all.

The ability to understand other people can be developed. Two simple and fun exercises will help you with this. Both of them are variations of the basic technique, which is called "Dubbing" in psychodrama. When there is a desire or need to better understand the state of a person, for some time you enter the role of the interlocutor, try to think with his head, feel with his body, and pronounce his state.

METHOD 1. WITH STRANGERS

For example, you can choose one of the passengers to train on public transport. Now mentally imagine that you are him. Become it. What do you think about when you are him? What do you feel? What emotions are you experiencing? Make sure to speak in the first person (not "he is happy", but "I am glad"), as if putting yourself in his place.

It is not a fact that you will guess the parameters of the passenger's condition. And even if you guess right, it is not always possible to check it. But the task here is different - to get used to entering the role of another person, to try on his condition for yourself. You can also train in a park or in a cafe. At the end of the exercise, do not forget to "come to your senses," that is, to remind yourself who you are.

METHOD 2. WITH FRIENDS

Play Guessing with a friend.

1. Invite a friend to participate in an experiment.

2. Place a chair next to his chair so that you are facing one side. A bench or sofa will work too.

3. Ask a friend to sit in silence for a while (15–20 seconds is enough).

4. Imagine that you are him. You can reproduce his pose, try to synchronize the rhythm of your breathing.

5. Now, as if from his role, pronounce the state in the first person. For example: “I am calm and I like this game” or “I feel a little annoyed because you are stuck with this game and I didn't finish my coffee”.

6. The task of the person who is being duplicated is to repeat only that part of the message that was guessed. You can't say no, wrong. If not a single word of "understudy" is suitable, then his interlocutor simply describes his condition in his own words.

The dialogue might look like this:

Understudy (D): I'm a little tired, so much work has accumulated.

Subject (S): I'm tired because I didn't get enough sleep today.

D: If I had more sleep, I would feel more cheerful.

Q: I would feel more cheerful if this exhausting repair was over.

D: I do not like it when something is unfinished, it creates constant tension.

Q: I do not like it when something is unfinished, it creates constant tension

The exercise lasts on average 2-3 minutes. You can switch roles if you want.

How to use

In its pure form, the technique is not used in communication. But if you practice it regularly, you will be able to come much better than before to understand the feelings and thoughts of other people. This will help you build good relationships more easily and resolve conflicts that arise.